The wind in Paris was particularly chilly the night this competition was judged.
I stood under a flickering streetlight, leaning against the cold brick wall of a closed baguette shop, suitcase in hand. I adjusted my fedora and straightened my trenchcoat, gazing pensively up at the sky. A thin gray cloud had begun to roll over the full moon, and the Eiffel Tower glowed a particularly sombre tone of bronze in the distance. The streets were moist and glistening from a recent rainfall.
No sooner had I begun to relax did I hear footsteps approaching from my right, echoing quite soundly on the empty, quiet street. I did not glance over to see who was approaching. Not yet. I felt the presence of someone beside me, and I knew the operation was about to go underway. I waited tentatively for the codeword.
"Armin," the man beside me said. I relaxed. It was Jell.
"Pawkeet," I replied. The tense air between us softened; everything was going to plan. Another man approached us. We waited silently for his codeword.
"I'm Jazz," he said. Close enough. We relaxed and got a good look at each other. We were all wearing trenchcoats and hats, and more importantly, we all had our suitcases. Jell removed his sunglasses and withdrew a key from his pocket.
"Let's begin."
Jell opened the door to the closed baguette shop with his small silver key, and we quickly walked in, locked the door behind us, and sat down at a small round table. A baguette was sitting in wait for us. I broke it in half and removed a small piece of paper from its stale doughy insides. It was a list of the caves to be judged, complete with their creators and the accounts they were uploaded on. I read it aloud several times until the list was ingrained in our memories, and then I shoved the paper back into the bread and ate it. This took fourteen minutes. It was a long baguette. Nobody spoke.
We snapped open our suitcases and removed our laptops from them, placed them on the round table, and booted them up. They went straight to HatPC.
And then we played.
"These are all quite difficult," I muttered. "Perhaps... too difficult."
"Livio extended the comp three times so he could finish Oscillations," noted Jell. "That isn't fair."
Jazz and I quietly agreed.
The night slowly faded by, and by morning, our minds had been made up. The first place cave was decided unanimously, and our opinions on the others varied only slightly. We typed up a list, merged our votes, and saved the competition results on a USB flash drive. Then we stood, packed our laptops back into our suitcases, and silently left the baguette shop.
I tied the flash drive to our reliable Interguild Carrier Pigeon and instructed it to fly the results to my home in Canada. Then I boarded the first plane out of Paris.
If you're wondering why the results took so long to be released, it's because the distance between France and Canada is very far if you're a pigeon. In fact, the pigeon promptly died after delivering the flash drive. But it did not die in vain, for here, lo and behold, are the Collaboration Competition Results:
User Comments (36) | Livio |
Age: 31 Karma: 470 Posts: 9620 Gender: Male Location: Arizona, USA pm | email
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We'll never forget you, Interguild Carrier Pigeon!!!!
aw man, sixth place. After all that effort to get our cave into the comp... | | jazz |
Karma: 108 Posts: 3050 pm | email
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Do remember that the carrier pigeon had to avoid the volcanic ash from the Iceland eruption, which further delayed the results. | | Sefro |
Karma: 313 Posts: 1136 Gender: Male Location: Canada pm | email
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Anyway, good job to everyone. I think this was the most successful competition we've had in a while. | | Livio |
Age: 31 Karma: 470 Posts: 9620 Gender: Male Location: Arizona, USA pm | email
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plus karma for this awesome news post. | | Harumbai |
[|]-X-[|]
Age: 30 Karma: 260 Posts: 1743 Location: New Zealand pm | email
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At first I thought this was some weird Quirvy spoof, but then I read it was by Dando and that made it all the weirder... (but in a good way...)
Upcoming HatPC level: Sanctuary, coming soon to an internet browser near you... | | shos |
~Jack of all trades~
Age: 31 Karma: 389 Posts: 8273 Gender: Male Location: Israel pm | email
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livio, this should give us motivation. imo, you should make a walkthrough for your parts, and i shall have a walkthrough for my parts, and you shall edit them together, for a brill walkthrough!!
| | Kenneth |
Hat in a PC (HATPC)
Age: 26 Karma: 21 Posts: 164 Gender: Male Location: Singapore. Such a tepid country :/ pm | email
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Wow.... when I look at Harumbai's award page, I drool..............
The results were kinda similar to what I thought, except for a swap of the first two.
We could have had it allllllllllllllllll~ TROLLING IN THE DEEEEEERRRPPPPP~
| | Isa |
No. I'm an octopus.
Age: 31 Karma: 686 Posts: 7833 Gender: Male Location: Uppsala, Sweden - GMT +1 pm | email
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Wow, that's 22 awards from competitions right there. I gotta admit, that is impressive. | | Kenneth |
Hat in a PC (HATPC)
Age: 26 Karma: 21 Posts: 164 Gender: Male Location: Singapore. Such a tepid country :/ pm | email
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We could have had it allllllllllllllllll~ TROLLING IN THE DEEEEEERRRPPPPP~
| | Sefro |
Karma: 313 Posts: 1136 Gender: Male Location: Canada pm | email
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Yeah, I noticed that too. That is impressive. And it's funny when you consider that at least one of those second place medals is only second place because first place was taken by a cave you also made (with Yaya). So it's like you only lost to yourself. Or you won twofold. Either way, good stuff. | | Quirvy |
 Â
Karma: 655 Posts: 7753 Gender: Male pm | email
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Dando, you need to make more news posts.
I had no clue where this was going, up until "It was a list of the caves to be judged"
spooky secret | | shos |
~Jack of all trades~
Age: 31 Karma: 389 Posts: 8273 Gender: Male Location: Israel pm | email
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making statistics about that really sounds cool.
on dando's page there are 7 winners - and 5 of them are in the best of 2009.
total: 7
on Livio: there are 8 winners and one best of 2009, 3 seconds, 3 thirds, 1 4th and 5 nominated.
total: 16+5nominated
on Harumbai there are 10 winners, one overall best(!!), 7 seconds, 2 thirds, 3 4ths, and 3 nominated.
total: 23+3nominated
on Shos: 3 winners, 3 seconds, 3 thirds and 5 nominated.
total: 9+5nominated
on Isa: 6 winners(including one 'biggest failure' , 4 seconds, 3 thirds, one 4th, 2 5ths, and 9 nominated.
total: 16+9 nominated
on ckjr: 10 winners(including 3 best-ofs), one second, 4 thirds, 3 5ths, 4 nominated and one random box.
total: 22+4nominated+ one random box
you get the other info...
| | Yaya |
Age: 28 Karma: 747 Posts: 5367 Location: Ohio (US) pm | email
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The new post=(naughty word according to Soccerboy)
Me (and Harumbai) actually getting 1st=(Naughtier word according to Soccerboy)
Anyways, good job on finally getting the results out.
COMING SOON: A giant meteor. Please.
Give me +karma. Give me +karma. | | soccerboy13542 |
~*~Soccer~*~
Karma: 450 Posts: 4466 Gender: Male Location: 1945 pm | email
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Heyy!!! Don't swear!! It's not nice Mr. Yaya...In my world if you swear. You DIE!!!
'Livio' said: You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me. | | jazz |
Karma: 108 Posts: 3050 pm | email
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I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life. | | canadianstickdeath |
Age: 35 Karma: 350 Posts: 2990 Gender: Male pm | email
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For some reason I found the bit about the random box slightly hilarious. I fixed it, though. It was a 4th place finish in the Lack of Effort comp, where Livio, I guess, forgot to fill in the compID.
I'm calling it now. The Best Of 2010 Winner for biggest success is: Dando, for the Collaboration Competition Results! That was so descriptive, lol. I can't wait for the big-screen adaptation. Hopefully it's in 3D. | | Harumbai |
[|]-X-[|]
Age: 30 Karma: 260 Posts: 1743 Location: New Zealand pm | email
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Stick figure animation anyone?
Upcoming HatPC level: Sanctuary, coming soon to an internet browser near you... | | Isa |
No. I'm an octopus.
Age: 31 Karma: 686 Posts: 7833 Gender: Male Location: Uppsala, Sweden - GMT +1 pm | email
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Lol, let's see CSD do that. | | soccerboy13542 |
~*~Soccer~*~
Karma: 450 Posts: 4466 Gender: Male Location: 1945 pm | email
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'Jazz' said: I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life.
Mr. Jazz I have already seen you swear. Therefore, you must die!! jk.
'Livio' said: You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me. | | Harumbai |
[|]-X-[|]
Age: 30 Karma: 260 Posts: 1743 Location: New Zealand pm | email
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If only you'd got to him a little sooner you wouldn't need to.
Upcoming HatPC level: Sanctuary, coming soon to an internet browser near you... | | Captain Obvious |
To the Rescue!!
Karma: 105 Posts: 100 pm | email
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'Jazz' said: I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life. This is ironic because Jazz is swearing when he swears that he will never swear! | | jazz |
Karma: 108 Posts: 3050 pm | email
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'Captain Obvious' said: 'Jazz' said: I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life. This is ironic because Jazz is swearing when he swears that he will never swear!
Obviously, I am swearing that I will not swear! | | Captain Obvious |
To the Rescue!!
Karma: 105 Posts: 100 pm | email
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'Jazz' said: 'Captain Obvious' said: 'Jazz' said: I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life. This is ironic because Jazz is swearing when he swears that he will never swear!
Obviously, I am swearing that I will not swear! But in doing so you are swearing! | | jazz |
Karma: 108 Posts: 3050 pm | email
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'Captain Obvious' said: 'Jazz' said: 'Captain Obvious' said: 'Jazz' said: I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life. This is ironic because Jazz is swearing when he swears that he will never swear!
Obviously, I am swearing that I will not swear! But in doing so you are swearing!
Yes, I am swearing that I will not swear. | | soccerboy13542 |
~*~Soccer~*~
Karma: 450 Posts: 4466 Gender: Male Location: 1945 pm | email
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'Jazz' said: 'Captain Obvious' said: 'Jazz' said: 'Captain Obvious' said: 'Jazz' said: I swear that I will not swear in my whole entire life. This is ironic because Jazz is swearing when he swears that he will never swear!
Obviously, I am swearing that I will not swear! But in doing so you are swearing!
Yes, I am swearing that I will not swear.
but you are still swearing!
'Livio' said: You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me. | | |
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