Welcome mortal. I am Zabim, the Genie. By entering this topic you have been granted three wishes. There are no restrictions on what you may wish for. Ask, and it shall be granted.

Be warned though, your wish may not turn out entirely as you had wanted. I will try to use my powers of liberal interpretations and unforeseen consequences to make you want to have never made the wishes at all. Think you can best me in this challenge of wits? Go ahead and make your wishes.

I wish you would revise the above post in a way that replaces "There are no restriction" with "There are no restrictions".

I wish for every wish I make, including this one, to happen exactly how I want it to.

I wish to have unlimited power

I wish for more wishes

I wish to make horrible wishes

Granted. I would have changed that without you having to wish for it, though. So now you only get two wishes for something useful.



Granted, I won't deliberately misinterpret your wishes.

Granted, you are now omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. As you ascend to your godhood, you realize everything about the universe. You realize how insignificant you were compared to the planet, how insignificant the planet was compared to the galaxy, how insignificant the galaxy was compared to the universe, how insignificant the universe was compared to all of reality and how insignificant reality is compared to you. In fact, you see everything that has ever happened and will ever happen, including everything you will ever do with your powers. In essence, you realize how insignificant you are compared to your powers. Everything you have ever do will be in accordance to the grand plan you have already seen for yourself, and there is no way for you to deviate from this plan, for if you deviate you will already have foreseen this and it will in essence be part of the plan again. You have no shred of originality left, all you do is how you know you are supposed to do. Basically, you have no free will anymore. You no longer think, you no longer act, you no longer observe, you simply are. And this is how you will have to spend for all of eternity.

Granted. A bit pointless, seeing how you already have unlimited power.



Granted, though I see you don't need a wish for that.

I wish for you to be the best person ever

Granted. I am more person than anybody else.

I wish for you to implode on yourself and die keeping in mind my previous 3 wishes

If you're more person than anybody else, you can't be a genie...
I wish for 3 more wishes
I wish for you to explain how I'm completely wrong

I wish my high school had air conditioning

I wish for jellsprout to never post on this topic again from this point onward.

I wish that I had no allergies.

Granted. I implode and die. However, seeing that I'm a supernatural immortal being, I just get revived again in a second. Unfortunately during this second of death I was no longer able to sustain your wishes, so now you are no longer all-powerful nor do you have unlimited wishes anymore.



I am not an actual person. I'm just better at it than anyone else.
Granted. That just gives me more to ruin.
Well, for starters you are not using punctuation. That is pretty wrong. And as they always say in mathematics, almost correct is completely wrong.



Granted. Your school had air conditioning. It doesn't anymore, though. Because of this, they also decided the windows shouldn't be able to be opened anymore, so it gets even hotter in the summers.



Granted. Not that it stops me.



Granted. Unfortunately, this means you have no immune system at all. You are constantly sick and feverish and there is nothing you can do about it.

I wish I had unlimited wishes.
I wish I had a chinchilla.
I wish I had every game on Steam.
I wish I could pick up page 9 of Jiub's Opus in Skyrim.
I wish I could change the speed of time around me, without suffering wind resistance or the cold/warmth caused by the lessened or increased transfer of heat due to this process. By the way, my clothing would count as part of me with time change in mind- though they would not actually become part of my body.

I wish people would actually stop asking for more wishes even though I did too and I'm being a complete hypocrite
I wish to not be called a complete hypocrite

I wish that I didn't have to go to school.

I wish that only my wishes will be granted and the wishes of everyone else will be ignored.

I wish that kro's wishes will be ignored.

I wish I had Krotomo's chinchilla

The first three things that I wish for:
100 more wishes,
For you to ignore krotomo, and
To level up faster in some games that I play.

I wish for this topic to be locked forever and for another topic to open up, which shall stay unlocked, named "Super Jerk Genie".

Granted. You may make as many wishes as you want. None of them will be granted, though.



Granted. Nobody shall ask for more wishes anymore. However, people will wish for more wishes.
Granted. I shall call you a total hypocrite.



Granted. You don't have to go to school. You must go to school. For always and ever.



Granted. Livio for one will not pay any attention to kro's wishes or their outcomes.



Granted. At some point in your life, you will have held Krotomo's chinchilla.



Granted, I shall fulfill 100 more wishes. This won't increase your limit, however.
Granted, Midnight shall ignore Krotomo.
Granted, you will eventually get better at some games which will likely result in somewhat faster level gaining.



Granted. I'm afraid that this is still the only topic where people may make wishes, however.