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atvelonis
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Friday, November 2 2012, 1:43 pm EST
Apocryphal Ruminator

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At exactly 3:33:33 pm TODAY I will post a story written and edited by ME.
I might be a few seconds off, please excuse me if that happens.
I will be posting it on 3 different topics.
•Random Chat
•NEW HATPC COMP
•Politics Topic
Please stay tuned for the upcoming story, The Book of Hot Dog Zombies


'jellsprout' said:
As a kid I always thought tennisballs looked delicious and I liked biting them. I still remember the feel of the fuzz on my teeth and tongue.
atvelonis
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Friday, November 2 2012, 3:40 pm EST
Apocryphal Ruminator

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The Book of Hot Dog Zombies

~ Chapter 1 ~

Once upon a time, and not long ago, there was a cat named Cocomo.   Cocomo lived with 2 chinchillas.  Their names were Kokomo and Trilobite.  Cocomo, Kokomo, and Trilobite were very friendly with each other.  They played games every day.  Often the games involved the chinchillas riding on Cocomo.  One day, the chinchillas, Kokomo and Trilobite, were riding on Cocomo.  Then suddenly Cocomo turned her head around and Trilobite, who was closer to her head, squished her ears and closed her eyelids.  Cocomo shook Trilobite off and opened her eyes.  She started winking at Trilobite, with Kokomo still on her back.  Kokomo jumped down to assist Trilobite.
“I think Trilobite isn’t badly hurt, but he will need a few days to recover from shock.” Kokomo said.
Cocomo replied, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Trilobite.  I hope you get better soon.”
Trilobite did not answer.  He only stared at Cocomo as if she was about to eat him.  He was breathing slowly and quietly.  Then a random zombie mole drilled through the floor right under Trilobite.  The mole sniffed Trilobite’s butt and then bit it.  Trilobite immediately started reanimating into a zombie chinchilla.  Kokomo saw and shrieked in laughter.
“Come on, Trilobite, you do a horrible zombie impression.”  But Trilobite wasn’t faking it.  He was actually turning into a zombie chinchilla.  
Cocomo realized and tried to warn Kokomo of the danger.
              â€œKokomo! He’s a zombie! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!”
Then the two Cokomos ran out of the pet door in the empty aquarium that they had been living in.  They emerged to a ghastly sight; the entire world was overrun with HOT DOGS.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” they screamed in chorus.  â€œNOT HOT DOGS!!”
Normally, the world being overrun by hot dogs would be no big deal, because Trilobite would just eat them all.  Unfortunately, Trilobite was a zombie now.  They slowly approached one hot dog with crowbars, getting ready to bash his buns in.
“Careful…” whispered Cocomo.
But then, the hot dog jumped up on the Cokomos.  It was a zombie hot dog!




~ Chapter 2 ~

The Cokomos started struggling against the zombie hot dog, while simultaneously attempting to bash its buns in.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, a normal non-zombie hot dog came and bashed the zombie hot dog’s buns in for the Cokomos.  Unfortunately, the Cokomos thought it was a zombie hot dog and bashed its buns in with their crowbars.  
“Oh.  Wait, that one wasn’t zombified.” said Cocomo.
“Oops.” said Kokomo.
Then they saw a book that was titled, How to Cure Zombieism for Cats, Chinchillas, Moles, and Hot Dogs.  Kokomo tried to pick it up, but it was glued to the floor with someone’s bubble gum, she guessed.  Then Cocomo started prying it away from the ground with her crowbar.  Kokomo quickly joined in.  When it finally came off, the Cokomos saw an entrance to the sewer underneath it.
“Oh wow, this is totally awesome!  Zombies, crowbars, and sewers, all in one day!” said Cocomo.  She immediately jumped down into it.
“Wait for me!” shouted Kokomo as she joined her friend.



~ Chapter 3 ~

“Oh wait, we forgot the book.” said Kokomo to Cocomo.
They climbed back up the ladder and saw a very strange sight.  A zombie hot dog was standing right next to the sewer, trying to figure out how to cure itself.  But, it couldn’t read.  So the Cokomos borrowed the book from the zombie hot dog.  They looked up how to cure the zombies.  The book said…
Ingredients: (For 20 patients)
1. A rotten tooth of a frog
2. A damaged computer chip
3. Part of a magical Kit Kat
Please note, cauldrons and boiling root beer are necessary to cook the ingredients into a nice big purple stew.  
Cooking:  Mix ingredients in a cauldron.  Boil for 30 minutes in a big cauldron filled to the brim with root beer.  Stir occasionally.  After you’re done, feed it to the zombies through their buns.  (Or mouths)
“Oh, that’s convenient.” said Cocomo.



~ Chapter 4 ~

“Where are we going to find a rotten tooth of a frog, a damaged computer chip, and part of a magical Kit Kat?” asked Kokomo, unconvinced.  â€œDo frogs even have teeth?”
“Um, I’m not sure, but across the street there’s a convenience store with all three of those items.  Well actually, that’s the only three things that they sell.” said Cocomo happily.  
The duo walked across the street to the little shop.  On the front door, there was a big sign that said ‘Headphones don't work on ants.’
“What does that mean?” asked Cocomo to no one in particular.
They entered the shop through a giant hole that was obviously made by zombie moles.  It was very dark.  Kokomo turned on the lights.  Then it was really bright.  Then she turned half the lights on and half the lights off.  Then it was okay.  They looked around for the items until they found all three in a plastic bag.  But the computer chip wasn’t damaged, so they smashed it partially with their crowbars.  Then they threw everything into a nearby cauldron that happened to be filled, to the brim, with boiling root beer.


~ Chapter 5 ~

The Cokomos cooked up the stew, and it became purple.  Then they went back to their aquarium and made Trilobite drink the stew.  He turned back into a normal, non-zombified chinchilla.
“Oh, thanks guys.”  Trilobite said.  â€œBeing a zombie is so boring.”
Then the zombie mole came up and drank some of the stew.  He became a normal mole, and then scuttled off.  Then the trio shot out into the street and fed the rest to the zombie hot dogs.
“Well, that was easy.” they said together.


~ Chapter 5 ½ ~

The End
        


'jellsprout' said:
As a kid I always thought tennisballs looked delicious and I liked biting them. I still remember the feel of the fuzz on my teeth and tongue.
Jorster
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Friday, November 2 2012, 6:03 pm EST
mfw

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How is that story on-topic in any of these threads but ***Random Chat***?

No need to post it three times, there's no reason that people can't access Random Chat.


snipereborn
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Friday, November 2 2012, 7:21 pm EST
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'jellsprout' said:
There are very few scientific subjects don't have any practical or technical benefits in some way. The CERN invests billions in trying to find particles that are in all likelihood completely useless for technical applications, but out of this research we do get the World Wide Web.
CERN has also greatly improved imaging, which does help to track down and combat cancer.
Einstein's Relativity at first also seemed like little more than theoretical mumbo jumbo without any practical applications. But a few decades later, its use in technology became obvious. Do you think GPS would be possible if we didn't understand Einstein's Relativity?

There are surprisingly little areas in Experimental Physics which don't provide some improvement in technology.

I think the key here is "a few decades later". I also don't believe that the need for GPS wouldn't lead to the discovery of Relativity. It's true that some inventions come from knowledge that doesn't have a known purpose, but it's also true that necessity is the mother of invention. Isn't it true that many things in various fields have been discovered while the scientist was doing something completely different?
'Isa' said:
But wouldn't your method make sure that curing cancer or HIV gets pushed back? It's a complicated subject where research is likely to show that their hypothesis won't hold, and so they wouldn't receive grants under your suggestion, since they haven't been successful.

Moreover it's more difficult to start researching if you get your money after you're done because there's simply not enough money to pay for everything needed at all times.

Ninja'd since long.

I'd say no because you just say "10 billion reward for a cure" or something along those lines. Then there would be more motivation for big companies to actually try. If you think about it, right now they get tons of money for selling drugs that manage symptoms, so there's no reason for them to try to cure the disease.


Everyone runs faster with a knife.
Isa
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Friday, November 2 2012, 7:40 pm EST
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonas_Salk

Jonas Salk and his team worked for seven years to find a cure for polio, with no personal gain in mind. HIV/AIDS and cancer has been researched for far longer with more advanced technology at hand, by far more persons (and I don't doubt that many of those are just as dedicated as Salk was), and yet the breakthroughs we're seeing today is on a very basic level in comparison. Every little detail is a breakthrough - not because they're the cure by themselves, but because we're so far away from it, if there actually is one. The costs involved are so huge, the gains would have to be on a ridiculous size (10 billions for a breast cancer cure is great, but what about a cure for prostate/larynx cancer - if someone finds a cure for that, do you have 10 billions at once for them too...) and what's more - you don't KNOW that you'll succeed. This is major. You assume that there's a guaranteed road to success, but it's very important to also know what does not work. If you can't reward findings that reach unsatisfying, yet important, conclusions, then why take the risk?

And meanwhile, while the cure is researched, nobody is developing these drugs that manage the symptoms, because it's not economically sound to research something like that.
Isa
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Monday, November 5 2012, 2:49 pm EST
No. I'm an octopus.

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It's a big day tomorrow, and I want to promote the only party that will lead America to prosperity.

Click me
jellsprout
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Monday, November 5 2012, 4:04 pm EST
Lord of Sprout Tower

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No wars in 200 years? Obama says he can do it in 2.


Spoiler:
atvelonis
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Monday, November 5 2012, 4:42 pm EST
Apocryphal Ruminator

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Sweden... good idea, but then there would be a second Revolutionary War because we Americans have to make a big deal about everything.


'jellsprout' said:
As a kid I always thought tennisballs looked delicious and I liked biting them. I still remember the feel of the fuzz on my teeth and tongue.
shos
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Monday, November 5 2012, 5:54 pm EST
~Jack of all trades~

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DYK?
Israel has the largest number of americans voting from the entire world, lol. 80000 americans voted from israel, 85% to Romney, lol.


Jorster
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Monday, November 5 2012, 6:02 pm EST
mfw

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'Isa' said:
It's a big day tomorrow, and I want to promote the only party that will lead America to prosperity.

Click me


I like how all the women on that site are the stereotypical Swedish women


FlashMarsh
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Monday, November 5 2012, 7:05 pm EST

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I'm apparrently not allowed to access that page. What a bunch of scum. I bet they only allow those blonde haired sWEEDS there, s.
snipereborn
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Monday, November 5 2012, 9:40 pm EST
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'FlashMarsh' said:
I'm apparrently not allowed to access that page. What a bunch of scum. I bet they only allow those blonde haired sWEEDS there, s.

Me neither.

Also, insanity, a dead tie on all fronts. Who said politics is boring? Are boring? Is boring.


Everyone runs faster with a knife.
Yaya
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Monday, November 5 2012, 10:16 pm EST

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No matter who wins, I get school off tomorrow. Ohio's anti-pedophilia measure for schools that hold voting, which is like only one in the entire district, lol.



COMING SOON: A giant meteor. Please.
Give me +karma. Give me +karma.
Isa
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 5:10 am EST
No. I'm an octopus.

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No dead tie if you check state polls. Obama has held the lead in almost all polls in Ohio, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin the whole year, and those states are enough for 270. Even then, he has the lead in Iowa, New Hampshire, Colorado and Virginia. Moreover, even national level polls are now suggesting a pretty comfortable lead for Obama. There's one where Romney's up - Gallup - and a few where they're tied, and then ~10 where Obama is up, in the most extreme cases with as much as 4%.

I did an avatar bet in August on another site that Obama would win at least 330 electoral votes. If he wins all the states I outlined plus Florida, I'm fine, otherwise I have to change my avatar to an American flag until December. =p Florida is too close to call. Romney has had the advantage since the Denver debate, but now that Obama has had some solid momentum, it's incredibly close.
snipereborn
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 11:19 am EST
Fact Squisher

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But Isa, all of the polls have a sampling error of around 3.5%, so being up or down by 1 point is considered a statistical tie.


Everyone runs faster with a knife.
Isa
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 11:28 am EST
No. I'm an octopus.

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If you have, say, fifteen polls (just a random number that's sort of big) that all show a two percentage lead for Obama, the statistical margin of error is definitely smaller than if you take them one by one. You'll still see that Obama leads by two points in each one, but as you add more data, the overall margin of error becomes smaller.

And that's just eight polls in your example, here's twelve:

When just two pollsters shows Romney ahead, and those are two of the most biased (statistical term, not political) pollsters, while eight pollsters have him ahead and some by as much as 4,4%, I don't think it's a statistical tie (even if, of course, the extremes for Obama are biased as well).
snipereborn
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 11:53 am EST
Fact Squisher

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Well, I think your chart there speaks for itself. A 1.5 point spread.

"If you have, say, fifteen polls (just a random number that's sort of big) that all show a two percentage lead for Obama, the statistical margin of error is definitely smaller than if you take them one by one."
Intuitively, I see where you're coming from, but mathematically this isn't actually true. The problem is that they are all using different models, so their errors are independent, i.e. the overall error is the average of their errors (well, the Expectation of their errors, but this is almost the same thing). If they were all using the same model and sampling in a dependent way, then we could say that more data reduces error.


Everyone runs faster with a knife.
Jorster
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 6:05 pm EST
mfw

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Jill Stein for president!

GREEN PARTY ALL THE WAY


Isa
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 6:07 pm EST
No. I'm an octopus.

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Woop!

And yeah, Sniper, you're right on the stats and how they work. My bad.
soccerboy13542
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 7:15 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

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We held a mock election at our school. Was fun. I think there were almost 100 votes for Jill Stein.


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
Isa
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 7:17 pm EST
No. I'm an octopus.

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Out of?
soccerboy13542
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 7:21 pm EST
~*~Soccer~*~

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1100 i think. They told us during the announcements and I never really listen to those lol.  


'Livio' said:
You know, I was thinking of getting an internship at Microsoft, but I'm not sure I want their lameness to rub off on me.
Isa
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 7:26 pm EST
No. I'm an octopus.

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Almost 10% whoooo!
Darvince
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 7:47 pm EST
sea level change

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lol at my school (private) they did the same thing and apparently it was
45 r/money
8 obama
7 gary johnson
1 jill stein (me)


"Time is a circuit, not a line; cybernetics instantiates templexity."

FlashMarsh
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Tuesday, November 6 2012, 7:52 pm EST

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At the last mock election we had (in order of most votes to least)

Labour
Lib Dem
Green
Conservative

Private school as well, just a generally extrenely liberal one for whatever reason, probably because it's one of the few Co-Ed private schools.

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