The following individuals have been deemed a threat to the New Order and need to be eliminated.

-Dando52 status: whereabouts unknown (Mexico?)
-Neezles status: supposedly eliminated, true status unknown
-Jebby status: previous attempts failed, stalled
-Pierce Brosnan status: stalled until enough manpower becomes available

-Magnapple status: tracked, awaiting further orders

-Livio status: eliminated
-Haily status: eliminated
-Quirvy status: eliminated
-Fungus status: eliminated
-CanadianStickDeath status: eliminated
-Shos status: eliminated
-Dando status: eliminated
-Jellsprout status: eliminated
-Isa status: eliminated
-'Agent Haily' status: eliminated
-'Agent Smith' status: eliminated

I would like to add all IceCaves.net members to this list. They may not appear to be dangerous now, but that may change once they catch word of operations.

I have managed to track Jebby, under cover. He might or might not remain there for long.

Asking for permission to engage.

I already have an agent stationed at IceCaves to take note of any potential threats. The latest report was "mostly harmless". They are of no danger at present time, so to avoid raising any suspicions we will let them for now.

You have permission to engage with Jebby in any way you see fit. I trust you will not compromise the mission.

                                                Preparing assault.

I need three armed men here willing to take a jet to Great Britain. Specific location and more intel shall be recieved upon landing.

Mission requirements:

♦  Perfected ability to disguise and blend.
♦  Ability to perfectly lay out operation with little sleep and/or rapidly changing timezone.

Briefing will be given upon landing too.

I will be willing to participate in this mission, but only after the takeover commences.

Approved.

Preparation still commences. In need of two more agents fitting the requirements mentioned above.

Reminder:

The mission will have to be postponed until after the Leader arrives. Right now we will need all our strength to secure the site.
As for the current mission, I have received an update from the agents in the field that everything is going as planned. They won't be around to stop our plan.

I shall still try and assemble an action team for the time after the Leader's arrival.
We are not going to miss this chance.

Quirvy and Fungus have both been eliminated in a surprising turn of events.

Next target is CanadianStickDeath. Given new information acquired in the events surrounding the elimination of Quirvy and Fungus, a swift operation is expected.

The bounty list has been updated.

People, keep a close lookout for Pierce Brosnan. We don't want a repeat of Moscow, do we?

My attempts to track down a_neezles_a's body, be it dead or alive, have so far been unsuccessful. British Columbia was a dead end, which leads me to believe that she is still alive, as I cannot think of any reason for why someone would want her body moved.

I'm moving the search east, starting with Alberta. Hopefully we will have better luck there.

Also, still no word on Dando52's location. We haven't heard so much as a peep from her since our assassination attempt in Puerto Vallarta. Some of my informants speculate that she may have actually left Mexico, and gone even further into Central America, but that is only speculation.

It would be wise of you to ask for help, Agent Mountain Meadow. I suggest that two men assist you in the search.

~~

On another note, our Intel has provided info that Jebby is going to leave current location in Friday, the next week. Leader arrival is then to be expected before any assault.

Targets eliminated. Will open the floodgates soon.

I am prepared to fight your leader. Lead him to me, and no one will be hurt.

Prepare to die, Agent Gold!

Can I be a threat? Wait isn't this meant to be secret...?

...

...

I am matter... I am antimatter... I can see your past... I can see your future... I consume time... And I will consume you!

I survived!

No you didn't! PWND!

JAZZ.......................

What?

Spam.

etwrvtvertiwum

I thought your laptop was confiscated?

Happy april fools! Get back to work, Agent Gold.