What a terrible programmer! No indentation, no blocking. Bah.

How many programmers does it take to hang a picture?
4. One to hang the picture and three to say "I could've done it better".

Here's one:

Why are pirates called pirates?

How many Prolog programmers do you need to hang a picture?

yes.

lol, fair enough shos. I've worked with prolog a bit and that really made me laugh.

Three pieces of string walk into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't cater to strings here". So the strings leave. Two of the strings go home, but one loops around himself, tugs sideways at both of his ends, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says "Hey, arn't you one of those strings I just sent out of here?". The string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot".
ah ha... ha.. ha..

That reminds me of this great classic:

I sent in ten puns to a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win.
But no pun in ten did.

oh gosh i love that one xD

I think I'll follow suit...

Where do pirates hate being kicked?

Why did the pirate cross the sea?



Yay for originality!

on a scale of 1-5, where 5 is fun and 1 is boring, how would a pirate treat math?



invented this just now lol, *is nerd*

Wow, that was a reaaaally bad joke. It wasn't as funny as it was clever though. =3

Q: Who is Joseph Kony's favourite rapper?

Where do Kings keep their armies? In their sleevies.

Two cows are talking to each other. One says, "I'm kinda worried about this mad cow disease."
The other cow says, "I'm not worried; I'm a Buick."

Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other: "Hey, it sure is hot in here."
The other replies "AAAAAH, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

My sister told me she made up the "where do kings keep their armies" joke like 7 years ago...

Lol. Never trust anything from your earliest years.

Yeah, my dad lied to me a lot. o.o

Examples, he told me cavemen had harpsichords, that there was a bridge from Montreal to Florida that would take 10 minutes to get to by foot via the bridge, and that cavemen started appearing instead of evolution. Those were all lies he told me when I was like 4... meanie :C -kid voice-

Lol, I can't remember my dad lying to me apart from when he says he's 'cool' or whatever. Maybe its a bad thing that I can't really remember him lying to me... maybe I just can't detect his lies?

(Some people seem to have daddy issues...)

Yeah, you guys aren't seriously upset at your parents for lying to you about things when you were like 4, right?

I'm not upset, just surprised he'd do something like that.

when you have kids and see just how annoying they are, you'll understand them lol. I detest little kids, and I'm FAAAAAAR away from being a father lol. if it takes lying to them to shut them up without being violent(obviously), then so be it lawl XD

note: I am not an aggressor/pedophile/sneaky killer

Yeah, I can't stand little kids. I don't really care for people in general, but one little brat in a restaurant can ruin my afternoon.

I lied to my parents when I was 4 as well. So I guess it evens out.

I dream of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.  That way you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes.
A friend of mine lost his left arm and left leg in a accident.  The doctor said he's going to be "all right."
I decided to burn a lot of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire.
Life is like a box of chocolates: it doesn't last long for the fat people.